(Originally posted on "Free Dominion")
“You sent us this dire message that we must respond YESTERDAY...!!!”
“Did not.”
“I have it right here, in my hand...!!!”
“Then comply.”
“...But, it’s ALREADY expired...!!!”
“Then you’re OBVIOUSLY guilty, pay up.”
“For WHAT....???”
“That for which you are guilty, thank you.”
“But the notice doesn’t say what we’ve done....”
“Doesn’t matter NOW, does it...???”
“I demand to know the charges against me..!!!”
“Pretty cheeky for someone who’s been convicted, aren’t we...???”
“Doesn’t ANYONE know what this is about...???”
“Oh, you didn’t ASK me that.”
“.....well....???”
“All right then, I’ll forward you to the guilty parties desk.....hold, please”
[several minutes later...]
“Guilty Parties Desk....”
“I just TALKED to you....!!!”
“Are you guilty...???”
“I’m JUST trying to find out WHAT I’m charged with...!!!”
“Oh, it’s YOU again.”
“You forwarded me to YOURSELF...????”
“We’re quite BUSY here at CHRC, so we all have to wear several hats.”
“You’re NOT very helpful.”
“Why SHOULD I be....???....You’re GUILTY...!!!”
“Of....WHAT....???”
“It’s in your notice.”
“The notice is EXPIRED...!!!”
“Then you’re GUILTY, so you’ve come to the right desk...how can I help you....???”
“I just TOLD you at the OTHER desk....!!!”
“We’re prohibited from eaves dropping, Ma’am, that would be Invasion of Privacy.”
“.....Aaaaargh.....I got this notice which expired immediately that said I had to reply in full to accusations placed against me..”
“Oh, yes I remember now....that’s why I forwarded you to the Guilty Parties Desk...”
“Look, I just want to find out what I’ve been accused of....!!!!”
“I see....do you have your notice....???”
“Yes, it’s right here in my hands.”
“Good. Could you read me the number...???”
“Yes. It’s number 5560023874-A......”
“Hold please....”
[several minutes later]
“Says here that notice is expired.....you’re guilty.”
“Of WHAT, for God’s sake....???”
“Oh, right......says here HATE SPEECH.”
“That’s RIDICULOUS...!!!”
“Well, if you don’t mind my saying so...you DO seem a bit testy....”
“HATE SPEECH....???....that’s preposterous...what have I DONE...???”
“Madam, with all due respect, YOU are the guilty party....you should know.”
“OK, I’m getting pretty FED UP with this process...can’t you tell me ANYTHING...???”
“Well, we BOTH know you’re guilty...that’s a start...!!!”
“Look, all I know is that I got this expired notice that says I’m guilty....”
“I get LOTS of calls like yours, perhaps you would like to speak to the Expired Notices of Guilt Desk...???”
“What EVER....!!!”
“I’ll forward you, please hold....”
[several VERY long minutes later]
“Expired Notices of Guilt Desk, how may I help you...???”
“You’re the SAME person....!!!”
“Your voice DOES sound familiar, but I’ve got two OTHER lines ringing, please hold.....”
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