Saturday, August 6, 2011

World Youth Day Is No Woodstock

Some weekend humor h/t Creative Minority Report. First - let's look at some major differences between Woodstock and a recent World Youth Day in Australia:
Woodstock - 6,000 patients were seen by doctors or nurses as a result of the concert/orgy.

Youth Day - 191 pilgrims presented themselves at emergency rooms. Notice they presented themselves. They weren't dragged in by mumbling friends who mentioned something about the brown acid before running out screaming about Richard Nixon.

Woodstock: A common diagnosis was overdose.

Youth Day: The most common diagnoses were lower limb strain or sprain, infections, and acute asthma.

Woodstock: Memorable line was "Don't take the brown acid."

Youth Day: Memorable line was "Bene! Bene! Bene! Oi! Oi! Oi!"

Woodstock: 3 Deaths. One from a heroin overdose, one from a ruptured appendix, and one from some dude passing out in a nearby field and getting run over by a tractor. Ouch.

Youth Day: Zero deaths.

Woodstock: Average number of months it took for leading Woodstock performers Janis Joplin and Jimmi Hendrix to die after Woodstock - 13 months.

Youth Day: Pope Benedict still living. He's 84.

Woodstock - Three tracheotomies performed. Not really sure I understand why that was happening but there's a lot I don't understand about Woodstock.

Youth Day - Miraculously, no tracheotomies reported. Man, how do you get through three days without emergency tracheotomies?

Woodstock - 80 lawsuits filed after the festival.

Youth Day - O lawsuits but Fr. Richard McBrien may still be considering one having to do with female ordination. Not sure.

Woodstock: 400 Festival-goers who freaked out on bad LSD trips

Youth Day: 0 people reported to be on bad (or for that matter good) LSD trips.

Woodstock: 30,000 sandwiches distributed by the Sisters of the Convent of St. Thomas to save the doped up kids who forgot to eat.

Youth Day: Everyone remembered all by themselves to eat. Amazing, huh?
There's also a couple of pictures to compare. Check them out :)

And, for the poor choice Christians, for those who believe that faith is all about "social justice" and that Jesus was merely a predecessor of Che Guevara - this lovely collage:

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