Humor: Leaders' Debate 2008

"With a Green MP sitting in the House of
Commons, it will now be impossible to
exclude the Green party from the televised
leaders' debates in the next election,"
(Elizabeth May)

Good evening. We begin our live coverage of the leaders' debate 2008. You've probably noticed that the place is somewhat crowded... Well, because of the last minute changes in the party standings, many more political parties are now qualified to participate in the debates. Since you may not know some of the party leaders, allow me to introduce them to you.

Stephen Harper, Stephane Dion, Jack Layton... Those guys have been bothering us for the last few years, so I guess I don't need to bother introducing them, do I? Let's go straight to Elizabeth May, Green party leader and a Liberal candidate for Central Nova. Here she is right next to Stephane Dion.

Let me remind you that Green party became eligible to participate in the debates once Blair Wilson, a former Liberal MP from Vancouver area joined the party and became the first sitting Green MP. There were a few objections to that, since Blair Wilson wasn't actually elected under the Green party banner. But in the end it was decided that any MP who is a member of the party at the time the writs are dropped, counts as a sitting MP. Especially since Mr. Wilson had to sit most of his term as Independent...

...So here's Elizabeth May! Oh, Ms. May, you may want to watch those wires... We're no longer using wireless mikes because we want to conserve some energy, so make sure you don't trip on the wires. Hello!... Ms. May?...

While our crew is fixing the wires, I'd like to use the opportunity to introduce Ron Gray, a leader of the Christian Heritage Party. Yes, believe it or not the CHP actually made it to the debates; all thanks to a group of Christian MPs who left their parties and formed the very first CHP caucus in the House of Commons. Some believed that this shouldn't qualify them for the debate, since the CHP doesn't run full slate, but neither does the Bloc, so the party was allowed to participate...

So, good evening Mr. Gray! What was that?! Good evening and God bless you?! Mr. Gray, let me warn you, we are on CBC! If you say one more prayer - you're out of the debates and a human rights complaint will be filed against you! (Whispering) - Just give his mike to Elizabeth May and let him have the broken one!

All right, let's proceed, shall we? The Bloc leader Gilles Duceppe won't honor the English language debates with his presence. Instead we have Barbara Wardlaw, the leader of the First Peoples National Party of Canada and Thomas V. Hickey, the leader of the Newfoundland and Labrador First Party. Both parties made it to the debates, because a group of aboriginal MPs and a Senator from Newfoundland changed their party affiliation just hours before the writs were dropped.

Yes, that's right, a Senator counts as a sitting MP. That's why we also have Sinclair Stevens, the leader of the Progressive Canadian party. The rump PC caucus in the Senate agreed to a name change so that another anti-Har... I mean, another progressive political party could participate in the debates, even if they only run 2 candidates. Finally we have Conrad Schmidt from the Work Less Party. Wait a minute... Where is Mr. Schmidt? On vacation? Watching us live in a hotel room? But how is he going to answer questions? Text messaging? No way, I'm not paying those fees! Ok, let him use MSN...

What's that? Sorry, we're out of time. Tune in for the next round of debates in four weeks, when I'll be introducing the remaining party leaders...